Grasping

Why do I cling to that which doesn't serve me? In so many different arenas this applies.  People.  Relationship dreams. I can be content within myself, but can be hard not sharing.  i like to talk to people.  I guess I get a little lonely, and try to remind myself that i have the best company, my own company. The clinging.  The desperation. The I don't want to lose yous.  Grasping, grasping.
Just let go. I can say that, and mean it, but when it comes back to it, I'm still holding on. Sometimes I just want someone to talk to, but talking to myself can sometimes be the most insightful. I think I may post old journals. I want to extend love and kindness to this cat, but I still miss Shadow and wish he were around.  And then I get to thinking of the Godliness that is within all beings. And I know Shadow is out there.  In my mind, and in our hearts.  Shadow is within Socks too.  As we are in all beings.  We are all connected.
  Trying to go to a prayerful place. Is the God voice I hear, is it valid? Is it like the same thing that has happened to other people when they say that God was talking to them?
  I'm afraid of letting go and losing friendships, even if I'm angry and hurt,  I like the reassurance I get when I hear from my friends.  But I have bad feelings about so and so, he hurt my son, I think he considered hurting my daughter. Why do I need to stay in his good graces?  What do I care? I'm a little curious. Where things will go.  Just let go.  For a while at least.  See if you really need that crutch. You may be pleasantly surprised at your own strength.